Musings

 

Duck Song

by Mike Soret

I know a special lady but she really is a nut,
Though she won't admit it, I know she has a duck.
I've seen it in her bedroom and I've heard it on the phone.
Every time I spot it, she says she is alone.

It walks like a duck, quacks like a duck,
It swims in the marshes and it flaps like a duck.
I got a picture of a duck that it looks just like
And a letter from an ornithologist who says I'm right.
It's a duck duck duck, it's a duck.

By the beard of Muhammad, blessed be his name,
You swore I was mistaken, the feathers were a frame
When the little brown duck said 'you talking about me'
You told it to shut up or it would be fricasseed.

It walks like a duck, quacks like a duck,
It swims in the marshes and it flaps like a duck
When I say 'hey duck' it even says 'yes mike'
I know it is a duck, so I don't know why we fight.
It's a duck duck duck, it's a duck.

It's not a wild chicken and it's not a little goose,
You refuse to tell me what it is but I have got the proof,
I took it to the vet and then I brought it right back,
He looked it over closely then he got the bird to quack.

It walks like a duck, quacks like a duck,
It swims in the marshes and it flaps like a duck
It's south in the winter and returns in the spring
It's so obvious it is a duck, and not some other thing.
It's a duck duck duck, it's a duck.

Now I don't want to surprise you and try not to be alarmed,
But if you look behind you, you'll see you got a farm,
You say it's just a petting zoo, but I see that it's more
And if I weren't a gentleman, I'd say you were a…farmer.

It walks like a duck quacks like a duck
You got a freakin' farm of them and they all are ducks.
If you won't admit it, I don't think we'll get along,
I'd say it all more plainly, but it's not that kinda song.
It's a duck duck ducka it's a duck. Quack.

 

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